The List.... 7/17/2010

I just recently watched American Gangster starring my favorite actor Denzel..... And now it is time for a brand new list.

In honor of Denzel...... or "Frank Lucas" as he portrays in the movie...... This one is for "the boss".

So getting down to business on a not so humorous note for starters......

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1. "The Boss" died earlier this week. The man to the left was one of baseball's most historic figures. George Steinbrenner was the proud owner of the New York Yankees.... And like that pushy dad at the ballpark that wouldn't speak to his kids if they struck out.... Ths guy would be damned if he was going to let a pile of losers wear pinstripes. So in the American spirit of success.... He bought them. We could all only dream of having a wallet as fat as his, and that dominated the headlines all day when he passed. This man had characer issues at one point in his life, and it seemed as if the only thing ESPN could say about him was that he had an ego and power-tripped like no other. I see it this way.... He had his downsides, but he took care of the things that meant most to him. I hope he and the Lord above are watching baseball together now.

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2. Saw Jimmy Buffet last weekend. Excellent show, however I feel like many of the people attending firmly believed it was a "Roll Tide" convention. Well friends, your "Roll Tide" ain't cleaning out that gulf. Keep your mouth pollution to yourself..... And buy a shirt with some sleeves. Thanks.

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3. The Braves traded Yunel Escobar to Toronto this week. I would also like to extend a special thanks for that as well. We both have the same amount of homers this season.

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4. If you happened to catch the MLB All*Star game this week.... Or maybe you have just seen this commercial elsewhere... I hope you now hate this brand as much a I do. Sharp TVs poisoned the All*Star game with the same commercial that aired about 75,000 times. The man from the far East kept telling me during the game that my yellow wasn't as yellow as his yellow. When is yellow not yellow? When is yellow truly yellow? I have a colorblind friend that has significant trouble seeing yellow. I make fun of him often, and someday it is certain to catch up to me. Let's say though.... Hypothetically if my color blind friend buys this TV for it's outstanding yellow that is greater than average yellow... Is he going to be satisfied? Would I even be satisfied? Well one thing is for sure.... I would probably enjoy the yellow more than my colorblind friend. The difference between the two of us though is I can't afford the TV, and my friend who can won't notice the difference. Good luck selling those Sharp.... You won't be selling many in my circle though!

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5. The best crack of the week came from Seth Meyers who hosted the ESPYs on Wednesday. Meyers.... the Saturday Night Live star.... in his monologue stated that LA was where sports and entertainment come together. "It's like a Kardashian sisters bedroom," he quickly threw in after. Thanks to the wonderful ESPN production crew for immediately getting a shot of Reggie Bush's face as well. It was priceless. The Lakers and Saints both won a title this year though..... and both teams had a Kardashian in the sack. Hmmmmm... The Cleveland Cavaliers should give them a call. Maybe Mel Gibson should hook up with one too..... If a Kardashian can fuel a championship for the Saints then repairing his image won't be too hard either. Well..... maybe.

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6. Mel Gibson...... What in the world? What happened to the caring Mel that starred in Ransom..... or should I even bring up the Mel that directed Passion of The Christ? Well Mel, I would like a refund on that $7.75. The Mel we all knew and loved was a front, and at home he was throwing UFC beatdowns on women holding babies. Way to go Mel.... Way to go. I honestly didn't think Tom Cruise left any room in the deep end of space for any more lunatics. Apparently Mel was determined and found a way though.... just like when he got his son back in Ransom. Ransom is another favorite of mine in the movie department. The kid probably had it better being tied up and held for money though than being at home with "Mel"tdown Gibson.

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7. The oil leak was stopped yesterday. I'm really happy about this, but what makes me more excited is to hear the next stupid remark that our vice president will make. I could grab a bag of popcorn and sit on the sofa to watch Joe Biden make stupid comments all day long. I'm hard on everybody though when it comes to public speaking so don't get offended donkeys. Bush's vocabulary sucked more than LeBron's attitude. Sarah Palin's not off the hook either. The vice presidential debate a few years back was one of the funniest things I had ever seen in my life. I would like to have a beer with Biden though.... I see the things he says in front of a camera. I can only imagine what flies out behind closed doors. By the way... This officially begins my "Beer with Biden" campaign. If any of the eight of you who read this can make that happen for me then I will truly be indebted.

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8. I managed to coin a new term this week. I decided with the help of a friend that the new term for a lesbian cougar is now "Falcon". Why falcon you ask? Well I thought about it, and for some reason I bet lesbians love falcons. There's something rough and tough about a falcon that makes it seem like an elder lesbian. You can ponder that one though.... and if you have any new vocab for me then feel free to send along.

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9. I'm glad your iphone4 is a piece of crap. Maybe now you can pull your head out of your phone and actually carry on a real face-to-face conversation with someone. Everybody wants to text their lives away over something that could take 30 seconds to accomplish in a phone convo. Well now if you hae a new iphone..... apparently you can't do either! It's time to look at the people around you and tell them hello for once.

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10. Graceville, Florida....... I hate you. There is indeed a traffic light in Graceville, Florida that won't change unless you get out of your vehicle and bribe it to do so. Also convenient about this town is that the only cop down there sits across from the light in a dark spot waiting for impatient souls like mine to run it at 2 a.m. Of all the places this guy could sit in the middle of the night to shoot the bull.... He picks a dark, hidden spot to hide near this garbage red light. Something seems rigged here..... But as he sped down the road catching up to me I politely pulled off into a parking lot and rolled down the window with my license out and ready. He didn'd even get to turn his lights on.....I was proud to take the fun out of it for him. $231 later I am sitting here about to look up driving schools I can attend. I am of course pursuing my doctorate in driving school with a magna cum laude GPA.

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Hope you enjoyed..... See ya next week.

-BS