Welcome back friends..... The picture above is of my dog Willy B. The "B" is for Beauxjangles signifying his Cajun roots. He loves to party, and last week was his birthday so if you get a shot....... Add him on Facebook. Search up Willy B. Stanfield and tell him to have a Happy 4th.... 4th birthday that is!
Let's get this party started....
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Let's get this party started....
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1.) The oil leak was plugged up last week bringing relief to thousands in the Gulf Region. You know they always say that the news doesn't accurately report things like they should. Such is the case here as well. You all think that BP devised something out a coat hanger and a carboard box to stop the oil. Wrong. Here's the truth..... Nick Saban swam down to the depths below and plugged the hole with his championship ring. He is of course the new "Chuck Norris".
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2.) Have you seen the show 16 & Pregnant on MTV? If you have not I suggest you program the DVR, and be sure to watch just one episode of this show. Only one though... Wouldn't want you to get hooked. It's almost like a drug for some. Anyways..... This show is a grand display of white trash raising children. It really makes me sad, but what I would like to know is why these people act the way they do. It is very possible to become pregnant at a young age and still act like a classy human being. The episode I recently saw was a girl walking through the grocery store complaining about how much money she doesn't have to spend on anything.... much less a child. Then she dropped the bomb shell...... She thought she was pregnant again! Turns out she wasn't. I have some advice for her and others on that show though..... If you don't have money to raise children, and you can barely spend a dime on the one you have then you should STOP HAVING SEX! Life would be a lot better for these people if they would quit laying around smacking on Oreos and get up to go find a job.
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3.) To those of you who feel you must drop atom bombs in public restrooms..... I would like for you to know that other people use those bathrooms as well. There is one particular bathroom that I frequent during the week, and there must be some sort of hidden sign in there that says "Go ahead and blow this one up guys!". It's getting ridiculous..... I don't even go in there to use the restroom that often, but I am a nut about washing my hands. It makes me angry when I have to hold my breath to wash my hands in order to keep from vommiting the meals I ate for the last three weeks. By the way... I'm sure these deadly scents can cause cancer. Ya gotta Febreze it friends.... Seriously.
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4.) Don't get offended when I don't ask about your significant other in conversation. I'm "that guy" who always asks about the significant other in a relationship who is not present. Yeah it usually turns out that they cheated or something dirty a long time ago, and I never heard the news..... or cared either. I was just really making small talk..... Which I also hate as well. Check out the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and listen to Larry David talk about "stop-and-chats". It's the pointless conversation you have with about 5-10 people a day who really don't care anything about what your doing, but they do stop and talk to you because they might need you one day.
Which leads to the next point.....
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5.) When someone says hello...... Say it back. If you don't then Hitler will save you a seat in a warm place below. Thanks.
PS...... This doesn't mean a "stop-and-chat" will occur. A friendly hello and no slowing of the walking pace will avoid this in 90% of cases.
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6.) If I could start a bonfire and burn things or trends that would never come back to this planet...... Well there's about 15,000 lists for that. One thing for certain though would be Ed Hardy gear. That stuff's gotta go.... at least if you're a man. Women can have it, but men not so much. You look real cool with your fire-breathing dragon on your tee. Real. Cool. Nobody is taking you serious.... no matter how much you blow off your girlfriend to go to the gym and get steroid ripped....... Because you have a dragon on you shirt.
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7.) Here is my favorite headline of the week courtesy of The Wall Street Journal......
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8.) The movie "Inception" is dominating the box office right now. It looks like a great movie, and I do wish to go watch it soon. Here's what gets me though..... Some guy sat around and couldn't think of a legit plot to a movie without it not making any sense. He had to have said to himself at one point "It should just all be a dream. Then I could get away with putting anything in there". You know that happened..... But if it didn't then I really wish it did. I'm going to see it soon.... But I am amazed at how much money I myself put into watching someone's LSD fantasy on a big screen.
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9.) Got an e-mail recently about school uniforms. It was a conversation listed out between a crew of high-schoolers talking about uniforms. It was a pretty funny conversation about how school systems come up with the most B.S. garbage ever to get this stuff to pass. "School uniforms will bring higher test scores" and "School uniforms will stop the gang violence" or "School uniforms will promote equality among students". Here's the real reason that they are passing school uniform rules..... So you and the male teachers you have will quit looking at Lucy "I dress like a whore for high school" Jones or whoever and maybe pay attention. They need uniforms in college too.... but not for the same reason. If people in college had to wear uniforms then they probably wouldn't go to class in the trash bag tee-shirt and pajama pants they slept in.... It would also eliminate all that Ed Hardy garbage as well..... And yes the show "16 & Pregnant" would probably have less contestants because Lucy "I dress like a whore for high school" Jones isn't enticing you anymore. Not many chicks can pull off the uniform look.... And that could be a good thing for society.
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10.) I cannot wait for the day that I don't have to shop at Wal*Mart anymore. Death, Taxes and Wal*Mart is how the saying goes I do believe. You can't avoid that place.... especially where I live because it is all we have in this town. Wal*Mart doesn't care about you or what you think no matter how many times they print out the receipt survey and ask you take it for them. You're not going to win $1,000 either.... The survey is a lie. When you go in there and look at 49 check out aisles that are closed and the (1) one that is open, I hope it angers you as much as me. I have tried to become more of a patient man in all factors of my life recently, but I go purchase goods from Satan's outlet.... Wal*Mart.... and all of my good boy points go out the window because that place makes me violent. Avoid Wal*Mart like the plague friends.... It's bad for your health and happiness. Now Sam's Club..... different story. I love that place with all fibers of my being. It's the same company too. They put you through all the garbage at Wal*Mart to see how far we will let them push us around. We citizens of America..... are merely Wal*Mart's test rats for new ideas on how to get rich off of America's poor.
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2.) Have you seen the show 16 & Pregnant on MTV? If you have not I suggest you program the DVR, and be sure to watch just one episode of this show. Only one though... Wouldn't want you to get hooked. It's almost like a drug for some. Anyways..... This show is a grand display of white trash raising children. It really makes me sad, but what I would like to know is why these people act the way they do. It is very possible to become pregnant at a young age and still act like a classy human being. The episode I recently saw was a girl walking through the grocery store complaining about how much money she doesn't have to spend on anything.... much less a child. Then she dropped the bomb shell...... She thought she was pregnant again! Turns out she wasn't. I have some advice for her and others on that show though..... If you don't have money to raise children, and you can barely spend a dime on the one you have then you should STOP HAVING SEX! Life would be a lot better for these people if they would quit laying around smacking on Oreos and get up to go find a job.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.) To those of you who feel you must drop atom bombs in public restrooms..... I would like for you to know that other people use those bathrooms as well. There is one particular bathroom that I frequent during the week, and there must be some sort of hidden sign in there that says "Go ahead and blow this one up guys!". It's getting ridiculous..... I don't even go in there to use the restroom that often, but I am a nut about washing my hands. It makes me angry when I have to hold my breath to wash my hands in order to keep from vommiting the meals I ate for the last three weeks. By the way... I'm sure these deadly scents can cause cancer. Ya gotta Febreze it friends.... Seriously.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.) Don't get offended when I don't ask about your significant other in conversation. I'm "that guy" who always asks about the significant other in a relationship who is not present. Yeah it usually turns out that they cheated or something dirty a long time ago, and I never heard the news..... or cared either. I was just really making small talk..... Which I also hate as well. Check out the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and listen to Larry David talk about "stop-and-chats". It's the pointless conversation you have with about 5-10 people a day who really don't care anything about what your doing, but they do stop and talk to you because they might need you one day.
Which leads to the next point.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.) When someone says hello...... Say it back. If you don't then Hitler will save you a seat in a warm place below. Thanks.
PS...... This doesn't mean a "stop-and-chat" will occur. A friendly hello and no slowing of the walking pace will avoid this in 90% of cases.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.) If I could start a bonfire and burn things or trends that would never come back to this planet...... Well there's about 15,000 lists for that. One thing for certain though would be Ed Hardy gear. That stuff's gotta go.... at least if you're a man. Women can have it, but men not so much. You look real cool with your fire-breathing dragon on your tee. Real. Cool. Nobody is taking you serious.... no matter how much you blow off your girlfriend to go to the gym and get steroid ripped....... Because you have a dragon on you shirt.
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7.) Here is my favorite headline of the week courtesy of The Wall Street Journal......
"Joe Biden, Underpants Gnome
Voters are ignorant, he suggests. But don't worry, they'll learn somehow!"
Let's all imagine now.... He obviously did something stupid to deserve this headline. One will never read in the newspaper.... "George Washington, Underpants Gnome". Not never, ever. Just thought I would share that with you , and the campaign for "Beer with Biden" continues. Everything Biden says to me when we do have that beer will be completely off the record, but I do want to see what he really feels like ripping out of his mouth sometimes. That would be pretty funny I must say. Get the wheels turning on this friends.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.) The movie "Inception" is dominating the box office right now. It looks like a great movie, and I do wish to go watch it soon. Here's what gets me though..... Some guy sat around and couldn't think of a legit plot to a movie without it not making any sense. He had to have said to himself at one point "It should just all be a dream. Then I could get away with putting anything in there". You know that happened..... But if it didn't then I really wish it did. I'm going to see it soon.... But I am amazed at how much money I myself put into watching someone's LSD fantasy on a big screen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.) Got an e-mail recently about school uniforms. It was a conversation listed out between a crew of high-schoolers talking about uniforms. It was a pretty funny conversation about how school systems come up with the most B.S. garbage ever to get this stuff to pass. "School uniforms will bring higher test scores" and "School uniforms will stop the gang violence" or "School uniforms will promote equality among students". Here's the real reason that they are passing school uniform rules..... So you and the male teachers you have will quit looking at Lucy "I dress like a whore for high school" Jones or whoever and maybe pay attention. They need uniforms in college too.... but not for the same reason. If people in college had to wear uniforms then they probably wouldn't go to class in the trash bag tee-shirt and pajama pants they slept in.... It would also eliminate all that Ed Hardy garbage as well..... And yes the show "16 & Pregnant" would probably have less contestants because Lucy "I dress like a whore for high school" Jones isn't enticing you anymore. Not many chicks can pull off the uniform look.... And that could be a good thing for society.
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10.) I cannot wait for the day that I don't have to shop at Wal*Mart anymore. Death, Taxes and Wal*Mart is how the saying goes I do believe. You can't avoid that place.... especially where I live because it is all we have in this town. Wal*Mart doesn't care about you or what you think no matter how many times they print out the receipt survey and ask you take it for them. You're not going to win $1,000 either.... The survey is a lie. When you go in there and look at 49 check out aisles that are closed and the (1) one that is open, I hope it angers you as much as me. I have tried to become more of a patient man in all factors of my life recently, but I go purchase goods from Satan's outlet.... Wal*Mart.... and all of my good boy points go out the window because that place makes me violent. Avoid Wal*Mart like the plague friends.... It's bad for your health and happiness. Now Sam's Club..... different story. I love that place with all fibers of my being. It's the same company too. They put you through all the garbage at Wal*Mart to see how far we will let them push us around. We citizens of America..... are merely Wal*Mart's test rats for new ideas on how to get rich off of America's poor.
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That's all I've got for ya this week. This list was different from the last, but remember that no two are alike as well. We'll see what catches my eye this week, and you'll hear about it the next.
E-mail your thoughts as well..... listthis@aol.com.
Have a great week.... Pass it on to friends.
See ya soon.
-BS
E-mail your thoughts as well..... listthis@aol.com.
Have a great week.... Pass it on to friends.
See ya soon.
-BS
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